It has been an interesting season I have watched this life unfold in ways I could not imagine. I have watched God transform this life. And every day is just a shock because right now I am in the season of coming up with some memories of where I was last year at this time.
Today I spent the day reflecting. I was thinking about this season and Saw I had some heart issues to work on. The amazing thing is having some amazing friends to walk through with them. I love it when we realize that we need a mindset shift and even a generational mindset shift we know what to do. And just like that, you can walk through the block.
I realized after reflecting on my life I had a blockage. This blockage is that I had a tape in my mind and that was a fear of failure. The cool thing is I was able to trace this back to an inner DNA thing. Yup you can have things that can actually hold you back in success and it can be even deep rooted and you do not even know.
Then it is so amazing cause I was reflecting on this all day and walking through it. I had a sick day today and so I took the day off went for a walk and then a meeting in the evening then time with the girls. So this is the crazy changes I have noticed. I use to not be the chick that had many girlfriends because I did not trust them. I have been hurt by so many and I kind of grew up with a really messed up mom and there was no trust in our relationship. again a long story but I grew up with a mom with multiple personalities. Trust me this is not fun to grow up with along with she dealt with manic depression I never understood this till. I was fighting for my life for a year. Now I understand depression. I get this. I never let anyone in truly my best friends were guys. I had one girlfriend that was my bestie but she was like me. And the girlfriends I did keep pretty much were like me so I was able to let them in a little again a little. But when I was in the hospital it was the women who came to see me that I would say made some pretty huge impact on me.
I was seen in some pretty weak vulnerable moments in my life. And I let them in I sometimes laugh because I do not think they even realize how much that meant to me cause I find it hard to get into their world. but that is ok. Because the funny thing is the people I actually at first did not give the time of day to. I decided to stop that and let them in. They wanted to be my friends so much they would not stop trying to be in my world I thought ok. I will let you in. And I will say they have become some pretty special friends. I can call them anytime they call me anytime. We text at least every day. We do not let a week go by without going out together. Oh and the adventures we have had wow what a crazy summer. I mean come on I have seen and done things this summer that is out of this world. I feel like life is fantastic now. I love letting people in. I am learning how to give back cause so many poured into me.
I am so grateful for every situation even the ones that have been painful because they cause you to grow. I can either let them tear me down or I can let them make me grow. You know I tell ya I actually realized for the first time in my life that people are actually important and matter and I think everyone deserves to just be loved for who they are. I mean come on I think it is even starting to show up in our tv shows. for instance How I met your mother. if you have seen that show you have these group of crazy friends who meet at the pub they are so so different from each other. But yet they just love each other for where they are. And when they need an intervention they had that. There are so many instances where the world is just looking for love. People need one another. We always talk about all we need is God nothing else I do not think this is true. If God thought that way do you think he would have made us with a man and woman? Just saying I think we need to realize we actually can heal people's hearts and even help their health by a simple gesture of love. Anyway, those were my thoughts today.
Today I spent the day reflecting. I was thinking about this season and Saw I had some heart issues to work on. The amazing thing is having some amazing friends to walk through with them. I love it when we realize that we need a mindset shift and even a generational mindset shift we know what to do. And just like that, you can walk through the block.
I realized after reflecting on my life I had a blockage. This blockage is that I had a tape in my mind and that was a fear of failure. The cool thing is I was able to trace this back to an inner DNA thing. Yup you can have things that can actually hold you back in success and it can be even deep rooted and you do not even know.
Then it is so amazing cause I was reflecting on this all day and walking through it. I had a sick day today and so I took the day off went for a walk and then a meeting in the evening then time with the girls. So this is the crazy changes I have noticed. I use to not be the chick that had many girlfriends because I did not trust them. I have been hurt by so many and I kind of grew up with a really messed up mom and there was no trust in our relationship. again a long story but I grew up with a mom with multiple personalities. Trust me this is not fun to grow up with along with she dealt with manic depression I never understood this till. I was fighting for my life for a year. Now I understand depression. I get this. I never let anyone in truly my best friends were guys. I had one girlfriend that was my bestie but she was like me. And the girlfriends I did keep pretty much were like me so I was able to let them in a little again a little. But when I was in the hospital it was the women who came to see me that I would say made some pretty huge impact on me.
I was seen in some pretty weak vulnerable moments in my life. And I let them in I sometimes laugh because I do not think they even realize how much that meant to me cause I find it hard to get into their world. but that is ok. Because the funny thing is the people I actually at first did not give the time of day to. I decided to stop that and let them in. They wanted to be my friends so much they would not stop trying to be in my world I thought ok. I will let you in. And I will say they have become some pretty special friends. I can call them anytime they call me anytime. We text at least every day. We do not let a week go by without going out together. Oh and the adventures we have had wow what a crazy summer. I mean come on I have seen and done things this summer that is out of this world. I feel like life is fantastic now. I love letting people in. I am learning how to give back cause so many poured into me.
I am so grateful for every situation even the ones that have been painful because they cause you to grow. I can either let them tear me down or I can let them make me grow. You know I tell ya I actually realized for the first time in my life that people are actually important and matter and I think everyone deserves to just be loved for who they are. I mean come on I think it is even starting to show up in our tv shows. for instance How I met your mother. if you have seen that show you have these group of crazy friends who meet at the pub they are so so different from each other. But yet they just love each other for where they are. And when they need an intervention they had that. There are so many instances where the world is just looking for love. People need one another. We always talk about all we need is God nothing else I do not think this is true. If God thought that way do you think he would have made us with a man and woman? Just saying I think we need to realize we actually can heal people's hearts and even help their health by a simple gesture of love. Anyway, those were my thoughts today.
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